Desert Debacle

I hear them calling for me...

Hello, everyone! As many of you know, I live smack dab in the middle of the desert (Tucson, Arizona). I can admit that there are advantages to living in a warmer climate, however I have recently been introduced to the downfalls. For example, sometimes when I’m walking my pets, we see lizards that are as big as I am! And some of them are poisonous! Occasionally, I like to sniff, paw, and urinate on them, despite the fact that they could kill me with just one touch. I’m trailing off now… The real issue I have with living in the desert is the fact that the coyotes (or as I call them, “yotes”) continuously taunt me. As I’m drifting off to sleep at night, I can hear the “yotes” howling as they devour their latest victim. Now, Pet #1 tells me that they are attacking helpless little pups like me, however I know the real truth. The “yotes” are calling me to join their tribe. I can feel it in my bones that I am one of them.

The Big City 2.0

My brother, Bentley and I finally posed for a picture together!

Hello, Winstonians! As many of my readers know, I took a trip up to the “big city” with my pets. My grandpets got hitched and guess who wasn’t invited to the ceremony? Me! Yep, you read that right. I was, however, left in a giant house with no supervision and 6 furry friends so we’ll just call it even… I may have piddled on various pieces of furniture throughout the house, but that’s nothing compared to what I did the night before! Let’s recap the evening of February 21st, 2012. My pets and I drove up to the big city at 11pm, so it was very late when we arrived. I was so excited to see my canine cousins that I couldn’t even bear to be without them for one more second. At approximately 3am, my pets corralled me in a bedroom and attempted to get me to sleep with them. Frances, the Cock-a-Poo, was laying right outside the bedroom door, taunting me to ditch the pets and come play with the rest of the pups. I whimpered continuously until my pets finally felt it necessary to kick me out. That’s when the real party began… I didn’t get one wink of sleep! I would go into detail, but let’s just say that what happens in Glendale, stays in Glendale! BEST DAY EVER! 

Congrats to my grandpets!

My beautiful pets!

Skinny Winny

Disclaimer: That isn't me on those earrings, however the resemblance is uncanny! (Earrings are available for purchase on etsy.com, for those of you interested)

Hello, everyone! I must start off with a sincere apology regarding the negligence of my blog. My pets have been very consumed with their own lives lately and have put me on the back burner. Well, not me, per say, but my blog. Anywho, Grandpet #1 is getting married next week and I’m really excited to see all of my dog friends. I truly miss them all so dearly…except for Abby (Grandpet #1’s lover’s Pomeranian, if that makes sense). She always has ner nose turned up at something. I have been dabbling in yoga in an attempt to shed some lbs. for the big wedding next week, although it has certainly been a failed attempt! My pets have been bribing me with more treats than usual due to my unprovoked outbursts. And seeing as how the neighbor has it out for me, they are constantly trying to shush me with various edible payoffs. Don’t they realize that rewarding bad behavior only leads to more acting out? Perhaps they should enroll me in obedience school… And that’s saying a lot coming from me.

Love is in the Air

My grandpet sent me this for Valentine's Day! I think it truly captures the essence of our home!

Hello, Winstonians! Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! I am so thrilled to announce that I am back in business, sans cherry eye. Thank goodness because I have a hot date with a pretty, young Corgi! She is in heat and I smell her intoxicating scent every time I go on a walk. It has been driving me crazy, and tomorrow, I plan on getting her alone, if you know what I mean ;). Her pets don’t make her walk on a leash, so the ball is in my court. I have to either a.) wait for my pets to open the front door and make a break for it, or b.) shimmy out of my collar during one of my walks. And you and I both know that I am an expert at either or. I’m not worried about my pets punishing me as much as I am about said Corgi’s dad… I suppose I should make a pro/con list regarding the possible consequences of my actions.

Pros: I will finally get what I have been smelling for oh-so-long, I might get a relationship out of this and possibly a family?

Cons: I’m still a baby, myself! I’m not ready to be a dad! Chloe’s (that’s the Corgi’s name) dad will beat me and then force me into marrying her, I’m clearly too young to be tied down, I’m not ready to get my heart broken.

Ok, ladies and gentlemen. I now realize that I am not ready to make this kind of commitment and will not be following through with any previously mentioned plans involving Chloe the Corgi. But a pup can certainly dream! I already asked Pet #1 to be my Valentine anyway. This means I will be receiving a lovely gift from her, hence why I asked her to be my Valentine.

Cherry Eye

I regret to inform you all that my “Cherry Eye” is back. Sadly, this first occurred on Thanksgiving a few months ago, and my pets were worried sick about me. My doctor told me that I may have to undergo surgery to replace the gland in my tiny eyeball if it came back again. Well, it’s back, and I look like the sad puppies on T.V. And to make matters worse, I keep pawing at my eye because I get embarrassed when my pets try to look at it. Is it so much to ask that they respect my privacy during this difficult time?! I have also been hiding from Howard as well, but due to different circumstances. We had somewhat of a squabble over his cleanliness (leaving your penguin business on my Frosty Paws is notcool). We’ll get past it, as I’m sure I will get past this darn eye defect.

As much as it pains me to show this picture, I present to you: Cherry Eye

Frosty Paws

The beginning of my birthday was *yawn* fairly boring.

Hello, and thank you all for your lovely birthday wishes! My birthday was uneventful, to say the least… That is, until the evening rolled around! Pet #1 spent the morning with me, but then she stayed at work until nearly midnight! She got home 2 minutes before my special day was over; just enough time to give me a birthday kiss. But just when I thought it was all over, my pets presented me with a bone that is literally half my body weight! I love it so much that I haven’t stopped lugging it around with me wherever I go! What a fun present! The celebration continued today when Pet #1 decided this would be my “birthweek,” rather than my birthday! So, the festivities continued when my glorious pets bought me the greatest invention known to dogkind: Frosty Paws! They are deliciously, delectably, and utterly amazing little vanilla and peanut butter ice cream bites! I’m feeling a strong connection to Pavlov and his pup right now. Every time the freezer opens, I salivate for those mini slices of heaven. Hats off to you, Mr. Frosty Paws! You have created the most scrumptious dog treat, and for that, I thank you!

Happy Birthday to ME!

Look at that smile! Nothing can bring me down on my birthday!

Hello, Winstonites! How was your Super Bowl Sunday? I must tell you that I had quite an eventful day planned with Pet #1, but her undying love and devotion to her career has, once again, overridden our beautiful plans together. I only hope she realizes that our time together is limited. However, I won’t let that ruin the fact that today is my 1st birthday and who knows how long I will be around? That’s 7 in dog years! I’m a full blown second grader now, and next year I will be a teenager! Pet #1 used to document my every move (she has every single one of my baby teeth in a jar–creepy much?) and now she’s barely home long enough to read me a bedtime story and tuck me in. Despicable… I have a few choice words for her managers, but I digress. This should be a happy time, as today is such a big milestone in my life. I wish I could be with my brother, Bentley, on our special day! So, happy birthday to both of us on this special day! I can’t wait to tell you all what my pets get me for my birthday!!

Sibling Sound Off

Whaaat?! The coffee table is prime time sunbathing area nowadays! Notice my curly, pig tail?

‘Ello, love! Winston, here. I’ve been enjoying a lovely couple of days with an extended amount of freedom. My time in my “apartment” is seldom, and while I do enjoy the life as a pup on the go, I also miss my dear friend, Howard (one of Mr. Popper’s penguins for you, newbies), and his antics. You see, Pet #2 has been home the past two days for his weekly time off and I have had no boundaries, whatsoever. I have certainly decided who the “fun” parent is… Although I get frightened when  he yells at me because his voice is much deeper than Pet #1’s soft, whisper-like scolding. I hope my pets never get divorced, as that would turn into a nasty custody battle over who would get the golden child (me, of course, even though I don’t have any siblings… yet). Which brings me to my next discussion: My first birthday is right around the corner–February 6th! And for my birthday, I would like a baby brother or sister to share my “apartment” within my pets’ apartment with. Now, I have to tell you that I have struggled with this decision for a while, but seeing my real brother, Bentley, really puts things into perspective. I have made a pro/con list regarding the possibility of a sibling.

Pros: Permanent playmate, a new bum to sniff, someone to nurture, a built-in best friend.

Cons: Sharing my pets, sharing my toys, sharing my food/water, sharing my treats, sharing my bed, sharing ATTENTION, sharing in general, the possibility that my pets won’t love me anymore, sharing HOWARD… Should I even continue this list? Clearly, this is an awful idea, and who am I kidding? I don’t think I will ever be able to give up the role as the prodigal son. LONG LIVE THE GOLDEN CHILD!