The Golden Chihuahua

Pawing at my cherry eye... Don't look at meeee!

Hello, Winstonians! I have both good and bad news…Let’s get the bad news out of the way. My “cherry eye” is back, which means that I probably need to have surgery. I’m not in pain or anything, but it is quite irritating to have a huge lump blocking my enormous eyeball. Now, the good news! And let me tell you, it’s exciting! On Cinco de Mayo, I will be participating in the 5th Annual Chihuahua Races! Pet #1’s boss was finally good for something when he informed her of said event this evening. We’re all signed up and training starts tomorrow! We will be doing intense sprints throughout the complex as well as weight training with rawhide bones (cue “The Eye of the Tiger” music). I will prevail! I have no doubt in my mind that I can beat out all of those other wimpy pups and bring home the coveted “Golden Chihuahua!” The only downfall is that one of the prizes is obedience lessons! Apparently they haven’t met me yet because I am clearly the most well-mannered Chihuahua in the world, although my pets would disagree. Anyhow, wish me luck! I will keep you all updated on my training!

My intimidation stare... Don't mess with the best!

The Attempted Murder of Sir Winston Talbott

Soaking wet after Pet #1 let me walk into the jacuzzi!

The past week has been quite interesting, to say the least. I’m completely convinced that Pet #1 is planning my demise and I have sufficient evidence to back this theory up. We all know about the beef jerky incident, but it didn’t end there… What was supposed to be a fun weekend with my furry canine friends in the big city turned into a near death experience. Pet #1 and Auntie Em were watching my cousins swim, but this whole “swimming” thing was undiscovered territory for me. Although I was still on my leash, I walked right into the jacuzzi! My entire body was immediately engulfed in water and I had no idea what to do. Thank GOD my puppy instincts kicked in and I began to paddle my little legs. Pet #1 pulled me

Playing with Uncle Frances

out right away, but it could have easily just been for show. After all, there were several witnesses present. She let me enjoy the rest of our time in the “big city” with my buddies, but nearly 48 hours later, she was at it again. For reasons beyond my knowledge, Pet #1 decided it would be a good idea to clip my nails (which, mind you, are my only weapon of defense). She clipped one nail successfully; probably to make me feel at ease and safe in her arms before she attempted to take my life, yet again. I honestly didn’t even feel the second clip, but I certainly saw the aftermath of it. I couldn’t believe my tiny bug eyes! I was gushing blood out of my nail and I had no idea why because I hadn’t felt a thing (or at least that’s what I led her to believe since I didn’t even make a peep or show any signs of distress). Pet #1, on the

...After the nail finally stopped bleeding

other hand, reacted much differently. She began crying hysterically and clutching my little paw for dear life–definitely not the actions of a murderess. At that point, I realized that this was an accident and it probably hurt her more than it hurt me. But I’m still going to milk  this for all it’s worth! She’s been overly affectionate and very generous with the dog treats after this incident, and I would like to keep it that way.  I did, however, reap the ultimate revenge by bleeding all over her white shirt, so she probably won’t be trying any more funny business!

Don’t Take Candy/Beef Jerky from Strangers

I'm so sick, I can't even keep my peepers open!

Tummy aches make it hard for me to sit up straight.

Hello Winstonians! The past two days have been absolutely miserable for me. I got into something I wasn’t supposed to and now my belly is suffering the consequences. To be completely honest, I may be considered a cannibal now, but I digress. Two nights ago, Pet #1 came home with a suspicious ziplock bag of “home-made” beef jerky (but really, it looked like owl pellets, almost fur-like). She bought it from the Fed Ex delivery man at her work under the false pretense that he, himself, had made the beef jerky. Now, I have to tell you that this mysterious ziplock bag has been driving me crazy–the smell, alone sends me into a frenzy! Yesterday morning, the baggy was finally within my reach and I did what any curious Chihuahua would do; I ripped it open with my teeth and devoured as much as possible while Pet #1 chased me in circles around the coffee table. I didn’t eat as much as I would have liked, but I had just enough to make me want it even more. And human food has never made me feel so alive! I whined and pawed at the table that was housing the coveted beef jerky to no avail. About 30 minutes later, I gave up and

Burrowed in my pillow fortress.

forgot about the wonderfully delicious bag of salty goodness… Until later that night. I began feeling sick and not like my usual, spry self. I was sleeping in laundry baskets and finding hidden areas to do my business when I typically wait for my W-A-L-K-S (my pets spell everything out, as if I’m a two-year-old child. Hello?! I write my own blog!). This behavior went on all day today as well. I have a horrible tummy ache and I’m even making audible flatulence, which is so not like me! Anywho, Pet #1 had a little “chat” with Mr. Fed Ex about the beef jerky and apparently he LIED! After dodging all of her questions, he finally admitted to buying the jerky in bulk from my homeland, Mexico. And this means that we don’t really know what kind of animals or chemicals were used in the making of the ingested beef jerky, so I may or may not be a cannibal now. I realize that this all sounds extremely shady, but in Pet #1’s defense, she knows the guy fairly well and she thought he was the one making it! And she actually saved me from eating a lot more. It’s not like she was slipping me Chihuahua jerky in my food bowl! So, I vote to give her a break on this one and take the blame, myself.

Easter Eggstravaganza

Hello, Winston Watchers! I have a sad, cautionary tale to share with you this evening. I just caught wind of some devastating news, however it does have a happy ending. I must begin by saying that I am in no way stereotyping the vicious pit bull breed. I am just shedding light on a sad situation that occurred today and hit a little too close to home. Anywho, onto the story. My baby brother, Bentley, was minding his own business today. He just moved into a new abode and is still getting to know his canine neighbors. While exchanging what was thought to be a friendly bum-sniffing hello, a pit bull attacked little peanut-sized Bentley! According to sources, the pit bull had his entire head in its’ mouth. And said pit bull’s pets claim that she terrorizes miniature dogs all the time, “but it’s ok because she never locks her jaw.” It’s ok?! Umm, no, it certainly is not ok to let your dog bully other dogs! I’m really peeved about this and I hope that the pit bull stops pulverizing tiny dogs. And for those wondering if Bentley made it out alive, he did! That Bentley sure is a scrappy fella! He definitely came out on top! That being said, I’m excited to see my friends this weekend for Easter! I sure do miss Abby, Skippy, Doodle, Frances, Pixie, and my beloved Bentley! Word on the street is the pets are going to do an Easter egg hunt just for the pups! And get this, they’re rumored to be filled with treats!! One can only hope this is true.