About My “Pets”

My beautiful pets

 As you may already know, I call my mommy and daddy my “pets.” My mommy’s human name is Elizabeth and my daddy’s human name is Ryan, but I typically refer to them as “assholes” in my head. Don’t ask. Mommy works way too much at Abercrombie & Fitch. I feel as if her job is cutting into our cuddle time, but I will elaborate more on that later. Daddy works at a bar/restaurant with several questionable characters. Once again, I will get into that later. My pets are very well-behaved for the most part. I very rarely have to reprimand them, but occasionally they will do something so inexcusable that I have no choice. For example, daddy will throw away my “presents” that I leave them! Appalling, isn’t it?! Other than that, they are beacons of perfection!