Who is this crazy lady?! Oh, I forgot...
Hello, Winstonians! We’re literally days away from the big Chihuahua Race! Here in our neck of the woods, we’re pretty excited! How about you? I’ve been extensively training with Pet #2 and I believe that I’m ready to kick those other dogs’ fannies! Here’s the plan for the big race:
Pet #2 will be releasing me. This means he will be pumping me up with positive feedback and coaching me through this. A few “the chubby white chihuahua plays dirty, so if he tries to cut you off, run on the inside of the skinny black chihuahua”or “there will be females in heat and they know they can use it to their advantage. No matter what they try, Winston, do not stop running. Do not mount the other chihuahuas.” Following Pet #2’s sweet nothings, he will pour water on my face, just like the movies, of course, and subsequently remove my robe. I also imagine there will be an announcer who will nickname me Sir Winston “Speedy Gonzales” Talbott. We’ll hear a roar of laughter from the crowd at his clever attempt to somehow tie my Mexican roots into my nickname. After the crowd dies down, the gun will fire and off we will go! Pet #1 will be waiving a treat in the air at the finish line, doing everything in her power to lure me as quickly as possible. “TREAT!!! TREEEEEAAAAATTTT!!!!!,” her tiny lungs will scream. I will react as I typically do, and run like the wind! Repeat this scenario multiple times as I win each heat, and that’s exactly how this day will turn out. I will win that Golden Chihuahua… And if I don’t, my pets better buy me one.
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