TEAM WINSTON
Ladies and gentleman, I regret to inform you that my races did not go as I had expected… The following is a play-by-play of my experience.
9:55a.m. We arrive at the park that is hosting the Chihuahua Races and check in. I’m in the second heat, so we don’t have much time to warm up.
9:57a.m. I urinate on a man in a wheel chair.
10:00a.m. The first heat races and we watch from the sidelines.
10:01a.m. I provoke a massive pitbull and scare my pets half to death.
Pet #2 and me at the starting line
10:03a.m. Pet #2 holds me at the starting line, while crazy Pet #1 is flailing about a few yards away. I’m distracted by her odd behavior and her ridiculous outfit.
10:04a.m. A new distraction… I begin flirting with the girl next to me, but both of our pets are holding us, so all we can do is wiggle in their arms.
10:05a.m. GOOOOOO! I hear Pet #1 yelling my name, but all I want to do is sniff this girl’s bum. We follow each other in circles, as the rest of the chihuahuas cross the finish line. Finally, my girlfriend and I make it across, but we didn’t qualify for the next round.
10:07a.m. Pet #1 is a sore loser and cries over the loss. “I was so sure he’d win,” she says repeatedly, shaking her head.
10:08a.m. I urinate on an innocent man propped against a tree. Pet #1 quickly tries to reassure the man by saying, “he’s never done this before! I’m so embarassed.” Pet #2 has to turn away to stifle his erratic giggles.
As you can see, this day certainly did not go as planned. It only lasted a measly 10 minutes, but the babes made it worthwhile! And not to mention, I was the cutest dog there… However, I assure you that I’m just getting warmed up… We’ll get ’em next year!
watchwinston 