Winston vs. Mr. & Mrs. Roach

Sometimes I sleep in the laundry basket… That way I can scare off intruders who try and enter the closet!

Hello, Winstonians. I apologize for my brief absence. The only one to blame is Pet #1 for being irresponsible, as I have been bombarding her with new ideas for my blog for nearly 2 weeks! If only I could type… I suppose the last couple of weeks haven’t been very exciting anyway. My family up in “the big city” is itching to see me because I’ve missed some pretty big events in their lives (I’m talking to you, Joshua and Jason– Congrats on such a great season)! We fully intend on coming up in the near future and we can only imagine the adventures that will follow. Enough with the boring stuff and onto the exciting tiff between the vicious cockroach(es) and yours truly. Only one man made it out alive and judging by the fact that I’m telling this story, it’s safe to assume that would be me. Anyway, Pet #2 decided to do a little spring cleaning in Pet #1’s closet (while she was at work, mind you). I knew she would be pretty miffed that we were pilfering through her beloved articles of clothing, but someone had to do the job. Upon our closet raid, we discovered Mr. & Mrs. Cock A. Roach. It appeared that the couple had set up shop in Pet #1’s closet. They made a bed in one of her shoes and had probably been surviving on that piece of string cheese she left in her purse 2 years ago. Thank heavens that we found them before they had decided to procreate, but I digress. After seeing such a monstrosity, I immediately went into attack mode. I am the only creature living in this joint and by golly, I will do anything to keep it that way! As soon as the happy couple realized that we had discovered their humble abode (complete with home furnishings, such as a chaise lounge and coffee table made out of various articles of clothing and shoes), they went on the offensive and charged me! I wrangled them into the corner and pierced their miniature ears with my wailing howls. My clamor couldn’t hold them in the corner for much longer and I looked to Pet #2 for backup. He was standing behind me with a can of Raid, cocked and pointed at the couple. “Winston, back away,” he calmly demanded. In that moment, I so badly wanted to be the hero, but this fight was just too big for me. I retreated to the kitchen to watch from the wings as Pet #2 doused the evil pair to their deaths. And to answer the question in all of your heads, yes. We have since been exterminated and are looking forward to living in a pest-free home.

The Golden Chihuahua

Pawing at my cherry eye... Don't look at meeee!

Hello, Winstonians! I have both good and bad news…Let’s get the bad news out of the way. My “cherry eye” is back, which means that I probably need to have surgery. I’m not in pain or anything, but it is quite irritating to have a huge lump blocking my enormous eyeball. Now, the good news! And let me tell you, it’s exciting! On Cinco de Mayo, I will be participating in the 5th Annual Chihuahua Races! Pet #1’s boss was finally good for something when he informed her of said event this evening. We’re all signed up and training starts tomorrow! We will be doing intense sprints throughout the complex as well as weight training with rawhide bones (cue “The Eye of the Tiger” music). I will prevail! I have no doubt in my mind that I can beat out all of those other wimpy pups and bring home the coveted “Golden Chihuahua!” The only downfall is that one of the prizes is obedience lessons! Apparently they haven’t met me yet because I am clearly the most well-mannered Chihuahua in the world, although my pets would disagree. Anyhow, wish me luck! I will keep you all updated on my training!

My intimidation stare... Don't mess with the best!

The Attempted Murder of Sir Winston Talbott

Soaking wet after Pet #1 let me walk into the jacuzzi!

The past week has been quite interesting, to say the least. I’m completely convinced that Pet #1 is planning my demise and I have sufficient evidence to back this theory up. We all know about the beef jerky incident, but it didn’t end there… What was supposed to be a fun weekend with my furry canine friends in the big city turned into a near death experience. Pet #1 and Auntie Em were watching my cousins swim, but this whole “swimming” thing was undiscovered territory for me. Although I was still on my leash, I walked right into the jacuzzi! My entire body was immediately engulfed in water and I had no idea what to do. Thank GOD my puppy instincts kicked in and I began to paddle my little legs. Pet #1 pulled me

Playing with Uncle Frances

out right away, but it could have easily just been for show. After all, there were several witnesses present. She let me enjoy the rest of our time in the “big city” with my buddies, but nearly 48 hours later, she was at it again. For reasons beyond my knowledge, Pet #1 decided it would be a good idea to clip my nails (which, mind you, are my only weapon of defense). She clipped one nail successfully; probably to make me feel at ease and safe in her arms before she attempted to take my life, yet again. I honestly didn’t even feel the second clip, but I certainly saw the aftermath of it. I couldn’t believe my tiny bug eyes! I was gushing blood out of my nail and I had no idea why because I hadn’t felt a thing (or at least that’s what I led her to believe since I didn’t even make a peep or show any signs of distress). Pet #1, on the

...After the nail finally stopped bleeding

other hand, reacted much differently. She began crying hysterically and clutching my little paw for dear life–definitely not the actions of a murderess. At that point, I realized that this was an accident and it probably hurt her more than it hurt me. But I’m still going to milk  this for all it’s worth! She’s been overly affectionate and very generous with the dog treats after this incident, and I would like to keep it that way.  I did, however, reap the ultimate revenge by bleeding all over her white shirt, so she probably won’t be trying any more funny business!

A Day in the Life of Winston

A midday nap on the couch

Hello, Watchers! It seems that every time I post, I’m apologizing for not posting enough. And I’m always blaming my pets for their “busy” lives. If only they could walk a day in my paws. Then they could see what busy really means. I wake up and groom Pet#1 for a good 15 minutes. I lick her nostrils, every inch of her face, and any “owies” she has (my saliva could cure cancer, I swear!). Shortly after, we exchange massages/scratches. She rubs my belly, behind my ears, and occasionally the inside of my ears. It feels soooo good. Then I nuzzle and drape my body over hers–just to show her I love her and that I’m the boss! All of the love exhausts me and I go back to bed in her arms while we wait for Pet #2 to wake up. Once he’s awake, I go into crazy mode and run laps around the apartment at full speed, while simultaneously growling. I’m sure the neighbors love it! At this point in the day, we go on a walk around the complex, where I sniff other dogs’ bums and mark my territory. This is my apartment complex! After we get home, it’s back to lollygagging around. As soon as the sun hits that perfect spot in the sky, I lay in my patch of sunshine that makes my puppy fur so warm. My pets love when I’ve been sleeping for an extended period of time because I smell like a Dorito when I’m warm (or as Grandpet Trace calls it, “Frito feet”). This activity can go on for hours, depending on the amount of activity going on around me. If there is any sudden movement, I immediately follow whichever pet has caused the commotion and bite at their ankles. I’m only one year old, so I haven’t completely shaken the bad puppy habits yet. I continue all of this until my pets leave for work and then the fun begins! And by fun, I mean snoozefest. All I do is sleep in my little puppy bed. My pets just recently bought me a new one and it’s so soft! As soon as Pet #1 arrives home, she lets me out and lies on the ground so I can attack her with puppy kisses (and try to reach her brain, of course, but I’m still not getting very far with my tongue in her nostrils. Perhaps I should try through her ears instead? I digress…)! Fast forward a few walks later, and we’re all in bed, ready to do it again the next day. And now you can see how busy and fulfilling my life is… Too bad my pets don’t see it that way!

My new puppy bed! So warm and cozy!

Nibbling Pet #1's hand while sunbathing in my patch of sun is one of my favorite pasttimes.

Love is in the Air

My grandpet sent me this for Valentine's Day! I think it truly captures the essence of our home!

Hello, Winstonians! Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! I am so thrilled to announce that I am back in business, sans cherry eye. Thank goodness because I have a hot date with a pretty, young Corgi! She is in heat and I smell her intoxicating scent every time I go on a walk. It has been driving me crazy, and tomorrow, I plan on getting her alone, if you know what I mean ;). Her pets don’t make her walk on a leash, so the ball is in my court. I have to either a.) wait for my pets to open the front door and make a break for it, or b.) shimmy out of my collar during one of my walks. And you and I both know that I am an expert at either or. I’m not worried about my pets punishing me as much as I am about said Corgi’s dad… I suppose I should make a pro/con list regarding the possible consequences of my actions.

Pros: I will finally get what I have been smelling for oh-so-long, I might get a relationship out of this and possibly a family?

Cons: I’m still a baby, myself! I’m not ready to be a dad! Chloe’s (that’s the Corgi’s name) dad will beat me and then force me into marrying her, I’m clearly too young to be tied down, I’m not ready to get my heart broken.

Ok, ladies and gentlemen. I now realize that I am not ready to make this kind of commitment and will not be following through with any previously mentioned plans involving Chloe the Corgi. But a pup can certainly dream! I already asked Pet #1 to be my Valentine anyway. This means I will be receiving a lovely gift from her, hence why I asked her to be my Valentine.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Look at that smile! Nothing can bring me down on my birthday!

Hello, Winstonites! How was your Super Bowl Sunday? I must tell you that I had quite an eventful day planned with Pet #1, but her undying love and devotion to her career has, once again, overridden our beautiful plans together. I only hope she realizes that our time together is limited. However, I won’t let that ruin the fact that today is my 1st birthday and who knows how long I will be around? That’s 7 in dog years! I’m a full blown second grader now, and next year I will be a teenager! Pet #1 used to document my every move (she has every single one of my baby teeth in a jar–creepy much?) and now she’s barely home long enough to read me a bedtime story and tuck me in. Despicable… I have a few choice words for her managers, but I digress. This should be a happy time, as today is such a big milestone in my life. I wish I could be with my brother, Bentley, on our special day! So, happy birthday to both of us on this special day! I can’t wait to tell you all what my pets get me for my birthday!!